Perspective
by da-mouse
Summary: He wonders what is it about her that matters to him. She thinks about him in her life. -Yoh/Anna-
1. Yoh: All That Matters

Disclaimer: Shaman King belongs to everyone else except me. Sue me for the hole in my pocket.

Perspective  
written by: da*mouse

_Part 1   
Yoh : All That Matters_

_I wonder what matters…_

It is just another day in my life: I'm running around the block with heavy-weights strapped to my wrists and ankles, as it has been going on for the past few years, with Anna leaning against the gate to our house, holding a stop-watch in her hand.

Days like these are typical: for me, my life consists of going to school and training. Perhaps I _could've_ avoided the training part in my later years, but no, my _annoyingly evil_ twin brother Hao just _had to_ mess up the Shaman King tournament with the whole I-want-to-take-over-the-world scenario when we were 13, causing the tournament to be postponed indefinitely.

That means I am still not the Shaman King.

And that means I still have to train like hell. Under Anna's watchful eye. Under Anna's _very_ watchful, and sharp eyes.

But hey, I've grown accustomed to that. The training, I mean. Of course, I'll be jumping for joy if Anna decides to stop my training, that means I can laze around more. 

If Anna stops my training, I presume I'll see a pig flying past my window. 

But I am used to it. .

_I'm used to her..._

I can see Anna's glare directing towards me. Oops. Pick up those feet, Yoh! I just have to give myself the encouragement. 

Ren wonders why I put up to Anna. _Sadistic woman, _he calls her. Those exact words. He is always encouraging me to defy Anna. 

I don't bother pointing out to him that even _he _meekly listens to Anna at times. You just don't defy Anna. Unless you think your life is too long, and you want have it shortened. 

The thing is, I am used to it. All of it. The harsh training, and Anna herself. I can't, and I won't deny that my training has turned me into a much stronger shaman. Very much stronger.

And Anna...

She's been in my life for far too long. Honestly, life without Anna...? I don't know how it will be like. 

Everything will be just...different. Too different, maybe.

_I can't imagine it..._

_  
_Anna is...I don't know, she is like a force in my life. Always pushing me, and forcing me to be better, because she knows that I _can _be better. She wants me to make the most of my potential.

For myself. 

We are very different, in so many ways, and yet so alike, in others. 

We were both lonely children, when our engagement was announced. I was a child that everyone thought was weird. She was one that everyone thought was scary. At that time...well...I thought Grandfather had gotten too old, or senile, to suggest that me, Yoh, was to be engaged at the mere age of 10. I was too young to understand what is going on.

I always had the idea that Anna did. Knew what was going on, I mean. She seemed to understand what 'engagement' meant. I just thought that it meant someday I'll marry her and we'll grow old together, blah blah. It never occurred to me to reject the idea. Anna, on the other hand, understood more than I did. Engagement, and marriage, is more, much more than I had thought. It meant much more, as I now have understood.

Anna is always the more mature one, the stronger one, compared to me.

Something binds us together. Maybe it is because of that incident, the battle with Anna's ghosts from the first time we met. It is something that will bring two people together. 

What happened in Osorezan, had created a bond between us. Somehow, I know that we will always go through life together, whether is she my fiancée or not.

And the bond grows stronger gradually, day by day. 

_We are bound together..._

I thought she didn't like me. No, I _knew_ that she didn't like me. At first glance, I mean. 

How can I forget that first meeting, when she literally asked me to go to hell?

_That _was what brought about my first impression: she didn't like me. 

And I?

I thought she was cute. 

I still think she is cute. Very, as a matter of fact.  
  
I liked Anna then, in spite of her asking me to go to hell, slapping me, and making me cry.

And I like Anna now, in spite of her coolness and harsh training_. _

_I've always liked her..._

Which is strange, to say the least. 

One will perceive it as being impossible, the fact that I have feelings for her, seeing the way she treats me. One will say the only feelings I can have for her is resentment. 

But I don't resent her, I _like_ her, and I myself don't really understand why. 

Maybe because I know her reasons for wanting me to train, even though it is hard. She wants me to be strong, so that I can survive the Shaman King tournament. She wants the best for me. She wants to help me to achieve my dream. 

She attracts me. Her strong personality, her ability to keep her cool at all situations, her determination. Her blonde hair, her lithe figure, her eyes, and most of all, the way she always secretly smiles to herself when she thinks I am not noticing, although _that _isn't often.

Above everything else, she always has her trust in me. That is one thing I feel from her, that never falters. Anna always trusts me. She has faith in me whenever I lose faith in myself. And it is that faith of hers that keeps me going.

As Anna will say, maybe I'm not really making sense. 

But...

It is just every little thing she does for me. 

I like the idea of her sewing battle suits for me. I like to think of that as a way that she cares for me. I do hope she cares for me, because I care for her. 

Scratch that, I know she cares for me. Everyone else will laugh at the idea, but I _know. _I don't know how I know, but I just do. Maybe it's because in spite of everything, I do understand her. 

Being with Anna makes me feel different. 

Seeing her makes my pulse goes just a bit faster, and makes my smile grows just a bit wider. I want to make her happy. 

For that matter, I think...I _just _think...

That...I...

...might be in love. 

With Anna. 

_Am I in love?_

Whoa. Where did that come from?

But...

Am I? 

Has my liking for Anna developed to something more? Without even me noticing?

I just have to sit down for a while and think about this. Besides, I am out of Anna's sight, so that should be all right.

Love...am I too young to be thinking about this? Is there a suitable age for falling in love? Crud, I don't know. It's not like I am an expert in this field. 

I like Anna, I know for a fact that I do, really do. Do I love her?

I can't imagine life without her. I care about her, very much. I will never allow anyone to harm her. I'll never want to see her sad, or make her cry (although _she_ often made me cry in the past). I only want to see her happy, if not, contented. 

Above all things, I will protect her, always, with my life, if needed. 

Anna...Her determination, her strength...

Everything she says...everything she does...it matters. Very much. 

I don't know how, or why, or when, or whatever...I am just sitting there, thinking it out, when suddenly, it just hits me. 

Hits me hard, and out of the blue, like a huge bolt of lightning. 

_I love Anna. _

_I love her..._

How can I not? We've been through so much together, through matters of life and death. I need her to be with me. She is one person that really understands me. 

Manta, Ren and the gang are great guys, but they can never understand me the way Anna does. Anna…is my first friend, and my best friend.

My best friend. And I love her for that.

I pick myself up and resume my jogging, still startled by my own realisation. 

_I love her. _

Somehow, the thought brings a huge, and presumably, silly grin to my face. 

_I love her. _

I can't wait to see her.

_I love her. _

My heart feels like it is about to burst. 

_I love her._

I reach the gate, where Anna is standing, tapping the watch with a huge frown on her face. "Yoh, you're slower by..." I cut her off by embracing her in a hug. I hear her gasp in surprise, as her stopwatch clatters onto the ground.

I probably will get slapped for this afterwards. But I don't care.

I love her, and I want to show it. I want to let her know. I want to let _myself _know. 

Holding her in my arms, just feels so right, so comfortable. 

It makes all my earlier thinking on the facts and figures of the reasons why I like, no, _love_, Anna seem silly and insignificant. 

After all, I don't need reasons for loving Anna.

I just do. 

_All that matters is I love her..._

_-_Finis-

Okay, so that was weird. And so not like Yoh. Believe me, I _tried_ to keep him in character, but it's so hard trying to keep Yoh in character because his character is not a simple one. I guess this is as good as it gets, from yours truly. 

Anyway, I can tell you where this idea came from. From _Kage NoTenshi _(thank you!), whose review in my fic _Just To Smile_ notes something about Yoh getting used to Anna's coldness. And there's where the idea for this fic popped up, I thought I'll do a Yoh perspective on why he love Anna. Even though it turned out...weird. OOC. Blah. The works.

By the way, I am _really_ worried about going OOC. I need you guys to tell me whether am I or not. So...review! Comment! Flame! Just so it is constructive.

If this sucks, I am not going to do the Anna perspective. If it's acceptable, I'm game. It depends on you guys. ;)

da*mouse ®  
posted 29th May 2003   
5.01 a.m.

p.s. all the bits about Yoh and Anna's childhood taken from the manga.

p.p.s. you will note that Yoh and Anna are older than they are in the manga/anime. I have problems with pre-teens saying "love", so yeah. Sue me.

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	2. Anna: Him

Disclaimer: Shaman King belongs to everyone else except me. Sue me for the hole in my pocket.

Perspective  
written by: da*mouse

_Part 2   
Anna: Him_

_Him…_

The skies are warm and blue, and the weather cool, although not chilly. It is a great day for training, although I know that Yoh will disagree with me. For him, such days are great for relaxing, meaning lying under the sun, doing nothing. In fact, that was what he suggested to me when we were having breakfast earlier on. Of course, it makes no difference; Yoh has to undergo training, like any other day. After breakfast, I collect my bandanna, my stopwatch and push him out of the house, in spite of his complaints and pleas, to begin his training. 

It is now mid-afternoon, and Yoh is just starting to begin his runs around the block. Leaning against the gate, my eyes trained on the stopwatch, I coolly instructed for him to begin his runs. 

The pained expression that befalls his face almost brings a smile to mine. 

As Yoh took off, I unwrap my bandanna from my head and let it slides around my neck, my eyes still on him until he disappears around the corner. 

Yoh…

My fiancé. He who will be my husband, my partner in life. He, who, when the day comes, I will promise to love eternally and forever.

_I'll be his one day…_

Not that…

Not that I already don't. I do, I do love him. I've known it for a long while, even though it took me even longer to accept the fact that I love Yoh. 

I didn't love him from the moment I saw him. If there is anything I scorn more, it is love at first sight. There can never be love at first sight, for love builds over time.

But I was bound to him. Still is.

From the day we met, and from the day he saved me from a life of hate, spite and loneliness on the mountains of Osorezan, I was bound to him, I know. He had touched me. No one had ever bothered to care the way he did. I didn't know why he did, and I still don't know exactly why, but his actions touch me, and I will be grateful for that, forever. 

I often wonder. I wonder why is he chosen to be my fiancé. It was a great shock to me when my mentor, Asakura Kino Itako announced the plan to me. I was expected to accept without complaints, of course. I had no choice but to. I owed a great deal to her. The least I can do is comply. Although I wasn't happy with the fact that I was to be tied down so young, and to some kid I hadn't met. True, he is chosen to be, but letting me have the pick, I will still pick him as mine. 

Yoh is special. 

  
_There's no one like him…  
  
_

For me, there can never be another, there's only him. 

I love Yoh. But I will never let him know I do. I have to bury all my emotions under a icy, emotionless mask, when there are times I just want to throw my arms around him and hug him. I do it, in order to prevent myself from getting hurt. To prevent him from letting know how much he really matters. 

It takes a lot out of me to admit, to myself, that I am capable of love. All I've known since young was hate, spite and loneliness; I thought the feeling had eluded me, for the rest of my life. 

Then he came along, and showed me what is care, sacrifice, and somehow, I've fallen in love with him because of that. 

But I didn't show it. I don't show it. 

Because…

I don't know. I don't know whether does he love me or not.__

  
_I don't know…does he love me?  
  
_

Therefore, all I can do is to hide how I really feel. If comes a day he tells me that he never loves me, at least my mask can protect me. I'm building it, my mask, and myself to be stronger each day. 

Being cold and emotionless is the only way I can protect myself, to give to the world the image of the uncaring itako. That way, no one can hurt me. 

Besides, being cool and icy is part of my nature. It's who I am. I am not about to act flirty, giggly and girlish as an attempt for him to fall for me. That way, he isn't going to fall for me, Anna, but some other personality that I have created. 

A person like me…is hard to love. And…I don't think he loves me. 

How can he love me, after the way I've treated him? 

But it is for his own good. Yoh has talent and potential like no one I've seen, and yet, at the same time, he also possesses the level of laziness that astonishes me. 

I, of all people, know the harshness of the dog-eat-dog shaman world. There is no telling when a particular shaman can be killed just because of a challenge fight. So all I can do for him is to train him, to become stronger, so that he can survive in this world. 

And I simply have to be strict, and perhaps heartless, to make him listen to me. I am not used to being disobeyed. I don't see why Yoh is any exception. He isn't, of course. 

I am harsh. But for his sake. 

I hope he understands that, even if no one else does. Tao Ren calls me a sadist, I know. 

I'll have to get back at him for that someday, I'll make a note to. 

Even so, Yoh's harsh training, to my eyes, is my fierce protectiveness for him, is interpreted by many as vicious. Maybe even Yoh himself, maybe he fails to understand my motives. 

That is why, and how my perception came to be…he can't love me.     
  


_How can he?_  
  


I am sure he doesn't know my feelings for him. I am too good at hiding it under my mask. Besides, Yoh is kind of thick. He never wants to think too much about things that are unimportant. I supposed, being that we _are_ engaged, and we _are_ to be married someday, the idea of whether we love each other or not is just not relevant to him. 

At least, I don't think it matters to him. Nothing ever bothers him, much least to say matters of love.  

He doesn't have to know. 

I never plan on letting him know. 

I never want to expose my vulnerability, a vulnerability that I myself hate to admit. I am prepared to lose him someday, I supposed, but I don't want to, I don't want it to happen, much as I think it will be. 

It kind of scares me, on how much he matters to me. 

What is it about Yoh?  
 

_What makes me love him?  
  
_

I don't know. 

Before Yoh, I never loved anyone. Because there's no one for me to love, no one deserving for me to love. 

At first, during the days when we began to live together, he irritated me.

He irritated me because he can't cook, he can't do anything right, he never bothered to do things right because he preferred to let nature took its course, so long as it allowed him to relax and be lazy. 

But over the years, Yoh has grown and matured, and although I can't say he is extremely hardworking now, at least he has the sense of doing things that needed to be done, he has understood that the chores can't be done by themselves if no one bothers about them. 

I assume that's how I start to attach myself to him. 

The way he quietly takes over a huge part of my life, with his easy smiles and cheerful faces. How he always manages a smile even though I am being exceptionally harsh. The way he will want my approval when he makes dinner. The way he often tries to make me smile. 

The way he slowly teaches me more about life. The way he touches me. 

He touched me when we were young. Yoh is the first person that made my tears fall. All my life then, I've known nothing but hate. He made me feel the first stirrings of warmth, with his care. He cared although I was horribly rude to him, he wanted to help me, an icy, detached itako. 

He made me feel that there was some hope, and some light in my dark, hopeless life. He made me feel something in me, something other than hate and anger. He made me see a whole new life before me. 

Just because he had cared. 

He still does, I can tell. 

I like to think at least he cares for me, even if there is no love. He cares for me doesn't mean that he love me, I know. Yoh, being kind-hearted, cares for everyone, Manta, Tao Ren, Ryu, maybe even some ant by the roadside, who knows. 

But although he doesn't love me, I will still care for him and protect him. 

Always.   
  


_I have to…_

I am snapped out of my train of thought when the stopwatch beeped loudly, signaling Yoh's ending time for his runs. But there is no sign of him. 

I frown into the distance, tapping the face of my stopwatch impatiently. Five minutes has passed by, and there is still no Yoh. 

Then, off he comes around the block, wearing a huge, goofy grin on his face. My frown deepens. I suppose he thinks it is funny that he is off his usual time by five whole minutes.

He reaches me, panting a little, as I say sharply, "Yoh, you're slower by…"

What happens next totally catch me off my guard.

He ignores me, leans forward, and grabs me, pulling me against his chest in a huge hug. 

I gasp in surprise, and my stopwatch slips from my fingers, clattering to the ground. 

His right arm is around my waist, and his left hand rests on my back, his chin resting on my shoulder. My first impulse is to push him aside and give him a slap for touching me. 

But then again…

I relax my body. After all, he is my fiancé. And…well…it feels nice to be held. 

Very warm, and very comfortable. 

I hesitantly encircle my own arms around his waist. His arms tighten just a little around me. 

I can feel a small smile forming on my face, as he strokes my hair softly. The ice in me is beginning to melt. 

Maybe…just maybe…

He does love me. _  
  
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_And I love him, too. _

  
_-_Finis-

Taaa-daaaa. Thanks so much for the encouraging reviews, so here's Anna's perspective. Although, I admit it is very OOC for Anna…but then again, who knows what she is thinking? This is my interpretation of what she should be thinking, anyway. ^-^ I am lame, I know. 

Gee…it's hard to write about Anna's thoughts with her in character. I tried, but then I thought it was too uninteresting and way too cold. :P 

Apologies for the OOC-ness, and please please please review. Or flame, comment, whatever, as long as it is constructive. I need all the advice I can get. 

da*mouse ®  
posted 2nd June 2003   
2.55a.m.

p.s. can anyone tell me what exactly is WAFF? You have one dumb mouse here. O_O

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